At puberty I changed my allegiance

from Hulk Hogan to Ric Flair,

that kiss-stealing, jet-flying

limousine-riding son-of-a-gun.

I stood on the edge of my bed—ready to leap,

sign language I love you inches from the ceiling

declaring that my descent was more than simply

mimicking my favorite wrestler’s finishing move.

More than a haphazard crashing down onto my

younger brother.

It took me beating my dad at ping-pong to realize that Demolition were just a couple of middle-aged fat guys in S&M gear.

20. ‘The Natural’ Butch Reed

We have come to watch the Royal Rumble, the ultimate battle royal, and you are a natural warrior. We have come to see twenty men take a beating and your body is chiseled from dark marble, your fists swinging like wrecking balls.

I’m only going to let you down.

He said this before he even had a second drink. I was walking toward the jukebox, and I didn’t even realize he was talking to me. But when I turned back toward the sound of his voice – deep, with a Texan edge – he was looking right at me.

After 12 hours of fast food and freeways, I reached the outskirts of Columbia, South Carolina. I pulled over to the side of the road and checked my map. This couldn't be right. No way a professional lady wrestler's school would be stuck in a little suburban neighborhood like this. But there it was, amidst the single-story ranchers, the block-long Moolah Drive.

A rainbow of rubberbands

twisted into your beard,

you housebroke

George “The Animal” Steele,

Vernon “Ernie” Cervid turned five years old.

By the Chinese zodiac, the Year of the Ox. Ronald Reagan was sworn in for his second term as president.